Do you want to earn more money, date more people or create happier, healthier relationships?
Do you dream of opening a business, becoming a rock star or traveling the world?
What if you could have all of the above and so much more, by implementing just one simple art into your life?
Actually, you can, and that art is what I call the humble art of asking.
When I started my entrepreneurial career back in 2007, I didn’t have any money. Actually, not only did I not have any money, but I owed money.
My one credit card wasn’t only maxed, but in collections for non-payment, and only months before I was homeless and jobless, sleeping on a friend’s couch.
I owed thousands of dollar to student loans and didn’t have a penny in savings.
I had a great idea for a business, as well as clients and customers who were ready to support it, but without money there was just no way it was going to happen…
…or so I thought.
Although money wasn’t always easy to come by for me, passion was. I’ve been a passionate person for as long as I remember, and when I shared my passion with others, they listened.
My passion in 2007 was to create a mixed martial arts promotion company where I would host some of the best fighters in the country to compete in my home town of New Glasgow, NS.
With one professional fight already under my belt I had experience competing in an MMA promotion, which meant I also had connections to the people who could help me make it happen.
I had connections with managers, fighters, boxing commissioners and others who could help me pull it together.
But… I didn’t have money, and the fee to even apply to host an event was $5000.
Where was I going to get $5000?!?
The truth is, I had no idea how to create $5000 out of nothing, but I was pretty sure I knew people who did.
I started sharing my idea with everyone I knew, with passion and purpose, and asked them how they thought I could get the money together.
One friend named Chris was so inspired by the idea and my willingness to ask for help that he offered to hear my full business plan and give me his feedback.
After an exciting two hour conversation, not only did he give me feedback, but he offered to invest $10,000 into my idea.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he was the first person I asked or that the journey was easy.
My idea was rejected by lots of people, including even my own boss. Most of my friends listened to the idea, but few showed any real faith in it, and some even tried to convince me not to do it altogether.
But still I perservered, and in time, I got exactly what I asked for.
In case you haven’t found it yet, there’s a two part secret I discovered that has helped me not only ask but humbly receive everything from trips across the world to thousands of dollars in sponsorships and donations.
That secret is this:
1) Be willing to get rejected.
…over and over and over again until you get what you desire.
^^ read that again.
The first secret to asking is being willing to get rejected as many times as necessary. I know it might sound extreme, but that’s really what it takes.
The challenge for most of us is that we’re SO scared of being rejected that we avoid ever taking a chance in the first place.
Author, speaker and coach Byron Katie once said, “You can have anything you want in life if you’re willing to ask 1000 people.”
Think about that… have you ever asked 1000 people for something you really desire?
Not likely… I know I haven’t, and that’s because in all honesty, it’s never taken that many.
The amount of yes’s we get are a direct reflection of how many no’s we’re willing to get.
If we’re willing to ask and ask and ask, and hear “no” over and over again, then in time, we’ll see the miracles unfold and watch our desires fall right on our laps.
How many no’s are you willing to get before you get a yes?
2) Be willing to give massive value.
My friend recognized that my idea wasn’t just a way for me to make money, it was something that at the time I really believed in.
I didn’t just want to host an MMA event in my home town, I wanted to host the best MMA event my home town may ever see.
We planned to have large video screens with an incredible sound system, high level entertainment and some of the best fighters in the country.
I was also willing to give him 50% of the business for his investment, and we would call his business the main sponsor, which would get him far more than $10,000 worth in exposure through advertising.
In other words, I offered far more in value than I was asking for, which made the “yes” a no-brainer.
Again that two part secret is this:
Be willing to get rejected and be willing to give massive value.
When it really comes down to it, people will support what they believe in.. help them believe in your mission and not only will they support you, but they’ll support themselves through you.
Looking to ask for a raise at work?
Show your boss how much more efficient and effective your work will be if you do. Use numbers, make calculations and make it a no-brainer. Make it a case worth fighting for and go for it.
Interested in raising your professional rates?
Serve your clients so deeply that they recognize that their work with you is priceless, then go above and beyond what’s expected of you. Be willing to let go of clients who aren’t willing to pay and ask as many times as it takes until you get a yes
Trying to land a sponsor for your mission?
Show them that what they invest in you is going to come back to them in a big way, whether it’s through advertising, exposure or your contribution to the community. Help them recognize how supporting you is actually supporting themselves and their community. If they say no, great, move on to the next one.
Looking for more intimacy in your romantic relationships?
Help your partner(s) understand how important they are to you and how much you enjoy connecting with them. Express that you would like to connect more deeply with them and be willing to meet them where they are.
Asking really is the secret art that can help us have everything we desire in life.
If we’re willing to put ourselves out there and ask like we’ve never asked before, then before we know it, miracles will happen and everything we truly desire will manifest right in front of our eyes.
What are you willing to ask for?
PS there’s a quote in an ancient spiritual text that mentions asking… maybe you’ve heard it:
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.